Phil Brody’s Commentary

Phil Brody’s Commentary

Week Three Commentary: Quote/Unquote


I think Socrates said it WELL when he said, “The only true wisdom is in knowing you know nothing.”

He followed that up with a BETTER one. “And in knowing that you know nothing, that makes you the smartest of all.”

Yeah, I’m in touch with that emotion. I know I know nothing. Nothing.

Which reminds me that Sergeant Hans Schultz actually always said it BEST every time he stammered, “I know nothing, NOTHING!”

No offense to Socrates, but Schultzie obviously knows his stuff. Where was I? Oh yeah, my inanity.

I thought Chad Johnson was the man in Cincinnati, but then along comes Houshyourchrishenry. Ugh.

I thought Fred Taylor was a prime candidate for Comeback Player of the Year (ala Jim Thome in fantasy baseball), but then I saw Maurice Jones-Drew enfold the rock and run, run, run. I don’t know, looks like a keeper to me.

I thought Steve Smith wasn’t going to suit up. Then I thought he was going to play decoy. Then I pondered, “even if her plays, he’s facing a mad-as-hell-and-not-going-take-it-anymore D in Tampa.” Then Mr. Smith rung up 112 yards. Needless to say, I was reminded Steve Smith is still Steve Smith.

I thought Shaun Alexander was the best overall pick in the draft. Didn’t have a #1 pick in any draft, mind you, but had I, Shaun would’ve been my choice. What do I know?

I also did not believe in the Madden Curse. Key word: “did”

After last week, I thought there might be a RBBC in Carolina, but then DeAngelo Williams received a measly four carries.

I thought Jevon Kearse’s season ended after he suffered a fully torn MCL and partially torn PCL. Ouch. Then I read he also suffered a popped hamstring tendon, strained his quadriceps tendon, dislocated his kneecap, fractured his tibia, and ALSO tore the capsule that holds it together. Wow. I think I’ve seen this show! “We can rebuild him. We have the technology.”

I thought Samkon Gado might be (or become) the man in Houston, not Former Heisman Trophy Winner Ron Dayne or even that Wali Lundy guy . Then Former Heisman Trophy Winner Ron Dayne (I think that should always be his full name, by the way) started on Sunday, which is exactly what his coach said all week -- but I did not know we were supposed to believe anything any coach told us anymore, especially one that learned under Mike Shenanigans.

I thought receivers had to be taller than me to play in the NFL, then I saw JP Losman look for and connect with some short guy named Roscoe Parrish again and again and again.

See? What do I know? Nothing, NOTHING! But I can admit it, which brings me back to Socrates, and somehow makes me the smartest of all. Or at least more smarter than you.


WHAT I'M WATCHING THIS WEEK: Kurt Warner/Matt Leinart, Bruce Gradkowski, Maurice Morris, Big Ben, Little Parrish, Fast Willie, Slow Defensive Linemen Scoring TDs, Seahawks versus Bears, Twins, Dodgers.


RANT OF THE WEEK: Monday Night Football, 4th Quarter, 13:10 remaining. Saints 23, Falcons 3. On third down, Drew Brees is sacked for the first time in the game, a loss of 11 yards. Joe Theisman: “That might be the play the Saints need to be able to get things started.” Um, Joe, first of all you obviously meant the Falcons, not the Saints, but therein lies the problem. You like to hear yourself talk so much you don’t even know what you’re saying. You contradict yourself every five minutes. Somehow every call you make is wrong. I hate listening to you more than I hate listening to jazz music. And I detest jazz. Final score: Saints 23, Falcons 3, Theisman 0